I just read in the news that the Apocalypse is upon us
and at six o'clock tonight the world is supposed to end.
That will really tick me off if it happens
because THIS MORNING
we finished our weeks long
LOUD, dusty, dirty, cruddy, exhausting,
irritating, messy, icky, ucky, acky
home renovation project I told you about
a few blog posts ago,
and I'd like to enjoy it for more than a few hours.
To refresh your memory...we finally bid farewell
to this horrible carpet that greeted guests
as they walked in our front door.
We hired Carpenter Tom Terrific
who immediately ripped up the ratty rug
and rolled away twenty years of memories.
As if that wasn't enough to drop me into depression,
He started POUNDING...
Building a French door into our new office
and laying a hardwood floor.
Painters and dry wall people POUNDED
and filled the air with dust and fumes.
Seems like they built several large skyscrapers
with the pounding I endured,
but the results were
The front rooms of our house went from
"Is THIS our house?" Sonny asked as he breezed
in after completing his freshman year in college
complete with his entire freshman year's worth of laundry.
The transformation was truly stunning!
Here's Hubby's new office:
I'm going to take some photos of
his favorite golf course to hang in his new
MAN office (NO mauve!)
(Click on photos to see them bigger.)
Our front hall was always empty
except for the carpet.
I had a grand time buying new rugs...
And a new chest!
That finally adorns my Grandma's
The dining room is still naked
except for Sonny's desk.
That will have to wait for me to win the lottery
or after the Apocalypse...whichever comes first.
When I finally thought the POUNDING had
stopped, the carpet guy came to
fix up the edges.
I asked him about some simple yet unsightly
ripples in the carpet behind our Lazy Boys.
You KNOW nothing is ever SIMPLE!
"Sure, I can stretch those out for 150-bucks," he said.
"But you'll have to empty the room first."
Click on this picture to see what had to be moved.
Moving the wall unit was like
moving the Empire State Building
The heaving almost gave Sonny a hernia.
The furniture was crammed into the kitchen.
I had to watch the semi-finals of American Idol
from the Lazy Boy in my breakfast nook.
Mr. Stretchy told me the carpet and thus furniture dents
could move up to 3 inches.
My friend Dianna thought he might be able
to stretch out the wrinkles on her forehead.
"Your nose could move 3 inches," I cautioned, but was secretly
wondering if he could stretch the ripples on my big rear
and shift things 3 inches north.
Stretchy man managed about one inch of stretch.
But seeing the room empty,
it was clear the carpet was cruddy.
In 20 years, dust bunnies behind the wall unit
had multiplied like....well, rabbits!
"GOOD GRIEF! Will this project EVER end?" I grumbled
as we rented a Rug Doctor machine from the grocery store.
My hernia helper and I
cleaned the carpet...
And now, we're collapsed like zombies in our
repositioned Lazy Boys staring at
the beautiful front hall...
just in case the Apocalypse hits at six...